I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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