We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
