Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize