Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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