my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
