Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize