yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
