I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
