On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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