Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
