11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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