This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
