Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
