Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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