How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
