i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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