haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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