Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
