i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
