party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
