I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
