You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
