He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
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Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
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I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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