apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
