Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize