I think I died a long time ago.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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