I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
