RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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