this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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