I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
