Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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