You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
