I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
