I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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