i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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