oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
