Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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