and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
