no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
