Soap is not a condiment
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
