Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
