Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
