Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
