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i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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