I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just threw up on my dentist
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
