so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize