dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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