Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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