We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
