He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
