Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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