You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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