There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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