i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
