If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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