Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
