Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You don't make any sense
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