people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
